..i swear we were infinite

2011-10-02T13:01:00.001-07:00

http://www.omgscents.com/

scentsy stuff and giveaways

2011-08-23T17:04:00.001-07:00

found here!!
www.omgscents.com

love her stuff

2011-08-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

www.omgscents.com

contests

2011-07-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

www.scentedcandlescorner.com/blog

scentsy giveaway!!

2011-04-30T21:43:00.001-07:00

http://www.scentedcandlescorner.com/blog/scentsy-candles-2/free-scentsy-giveaway-win-a-free-scentsy-candles-full-size-system-during-may-madness

I love giveaways
so should you

idealist

2010-11-08T17:12:00.000-08:00

nothing is ever as it seems.

once again i feel like the old fashioned one in the world.

the dreamer.

i get tired. what is the point?

does anything ever change?

ahhhh finally

2010-10-11T13:27:00.001-07:00

So the school district FINALLY got their act together (I applied all the way back in June and did my interviews etc the beginning of August). My file is now available to schools out there that I am an eligible teacher looking for a teaching position basically. I received an email today from the assistant principal from a high school here that has a Deaf program. They want me to interview tomorrow morning! I am beyond nervous. I hope I get the job. However, if I don't I am positive something else will still come along because the process is actually moving now, and I have confidence that someone, somewhere will hire me!

If anyone reads this please include me in your prayers.

I really need a teaching job, i would have benefits and we would actually have an income from me other than my part time tutoring/ABA therapist job right now which we need.

Plus my passion is in Deaf Education.

I think thats it for now.

Nothing new or exciting happening in vegas really.

fall is here though. my favorite time of year.

There are so many places I want to go

2010-09-16T12:48:00.001-07:00

First. I want to mention that my baby (yes I said my baby) beloved Hunter passed away. It has been a difficult time for me. I love dogs so much. More than I love some people. (yes there is something potentially wrong with that picture but I am being honest). This is different however. He was my first pet of my very own. He was always there with me by my side, apartment after apartment, through employment and unemployment, starving (he never had to starve though) struggling college student days, heartbreaks, finding love, adventures, traveling, moving across the country, happy days, sad days, mad days, he was there during my darkest days and my brightest best days. He had an excellent personality of his own. When I was searching for a dog I knew he was the one. Even though he was the complete opposite of what I was looking for. He chose me and won my heart. He taught me a lot about patience, selflessness, laziness (not to be lazy). I don't mean this to be sacrilegious at all but in ways he was like the savior. Always forgiving, always loving, comforting, and always there. It is heartbreaking to me that I lost him because I feel at fault. I feel as if I should have suspected something was wrong (if i were a better pup mommy to him) and could have saved him. He was only around 3 and a half years old. I have been told dogs have spirits and I will see him again after this life. I also am skeptical (as I always am) and hold onto other things I have heard such as; "Animals are here for mans/our use", and I think how they aren't here for the same purpose we are (granted they aren't accountable as us). I just don't know. I hope I see him again. I closed my eyes the other day and all I could picture was him running up to me in a grassy field, I was laying down. He pounced on me and licked my face up. That would be grand to be reunited that way again.

On another note: My mind has been occupied with obsessive day dreams lately more than usual. What am I day dreaming about you ask?

Traveling.
I've always wanted to see the world since I was a little girl. Who hasn't? I ask myself. Australia was always number one on my list. I don't care what order now I just want to see the world. It's a difficult dream to have right now as I am practically out of work. My hours were cut drastically to 10 hours a week and I have been nagging/on top of the school district for a Teaching job for months now - what's the hold up you ask? I wish I knew!! The ridiculous school districts system and paperwork is the big hold up apparently.
Anyhow I really would LOVE to go to Vermont/NE area with Kevin this Fall. It's been a dream of both of ours to go to Vermont.
I also want to visit Chicago this winter where my family is. Christmas' there are some of my fondest memories, and Kevin's never been to Chicago.
I've been looking into Kevin and I teaching English perhaps in the summer abroad lately. Perhaps in Russia. Honestly we'd probably go anywhere.
Ok, so some places I want to visit (DEF not limited to this list)

Australia
Italy
France
England
Vermont
Hawaii
Alaska
Canada

Russia
Switzerland
Costa Rica
The Caribbean
Thailand

many many others.

Some things I want to learn/improve on and need the motivation or a teacher/partner in crime for:

Sewing
Crochet
Painting
Photography

On a final note, I have quite enjoyed being a wife. It's nice to have someone to come home to/have someone coming home to you. Especially when that someone is gorgeous, amazing, and Kevin Marshall. I have become a cook. Not that I was ever terrible, I grew up in a family that loves cooking. We often had eccentric homemade meals, Thai one night, Cajun the next, Of course Italian, Japanese, Southern, Filipino, Mexican, the list goes on and on. I enjoy cooking a lot more having someone to cook for. It's 99.9% of the time for Kevin, and I with the exception of having missionaries over for dinner on occasion.

Lets hope for the best.

Mrs. Marshall

2010-07-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, the day has come! (a week and a day ago to be precise). I married the man of my dreams. His name is Kevin Marshall although I think most of you (are there readers out there?) have gathered that already. We were married as husband and wife.forever. on the 20th of July, 2010 in the beautiful Salt Lake City Temple. We chose that temple as itis my favorite and one of his favorites (his other being San Diego). Not only is it a beautiful temple but it seriously moves me and inspires me whenever I hear about all the early members of our church went through just to have this temple built. It amazes me as I stand next to it and gaze at its beauty and power (good power). I don't know how they did it with so many trials, without the technological advances we have today. I can remember also reading about the temple abut 10+ years ago (the SLC temple) and being so curious and eager to see it one day. It was also the first temple I ever entered to do baptisms when I received my recommend. I received my endowments in the beautiful Mt. Timpenogas temple. My dear friend Camille Alexander was my (wonderful) escort. The day itself was very stressful leading up to that point as the dog had run away and couldnt be found. We had to just leaveand Kevin's brother Sean vowed to post flyers around for us. The drive to the temple from Vegas was about 6 hours. About 5 hours in we received a call from the shelter the dog had been found at 2 busy streets. Theres a shopping center in there so we joked he was in blockbuster.

I had several hair people bail on me up the night before my wedding morning and flowers as well up in the air (not literally) the day before my wedding. Luckily the Newmans (for those who dont know - who doesnt!?) They are the former mission president/his wife in Jacksonville, FL) are amazing and had their friend and her daughter take care of my flowers (which were perfect!! I love them!) and then when I asked what I owe them they said nothing the labor was a favor and the Newmans took care of the flowers for us! I love them so dearly. They are like family to me. June Newman was my escort on my wedding day as well as April Ferguson. I got lucky. Two women I love and admire so much that have been there for me, always. Plus they're both named after months how cool is that? June sat in the spot where a mother does for their child in the sealing room before they are married. She held my hand and supported me just as a mother would. I love her so much for it. Kevin's grandfather sealed us in the temple.

It was a beautiful beautiful ceremony and the words spoken went right to my heart. I of course cried, and of course before hand didn't think I would. It was so beautiful to see everyone we love that have been there for us throughout the paths in our lives there in the temple to celebrate with us. It was also amazing to have them and more to celebrate at our reception!! It was a blast. It did go by way too quickly. President Newman did a beautiful ring ceremony which my family loved.

We had the traditional throwing of the garter and I tricked the ladies and when I threw the bouquet, 2 flew out instead of one! Alexis Cone, a dear close friend of mine who Kevin and I really think the world of drove all the way there from huntington beach and performed a song she had written for us for our first dance. It was so beautiful, and again I cried. I OWNED kevin with the cake by shoving it in his face after cutting it and before it even hit the plate. Theres so much more I could include here but all in all it was the best day of my life. I thank you for that Mr. Kevin Marshall. I love thee.

Love.

when words cant express

2010-04-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

we meet again

2010-03-28T17:02:00.000-07:00

What is this you see? (if anyone even reads this thing anymore!). An update!? Yes.
I check this periodically, and you my friends do not update your blogs ever! I need something to lurk. I know I don't have room to talk, as I don't update mine very much either but I dont ever feel my updates are grand, exciting, inspirational, and romantic enough. Plus who wants to read this?
Incase there is someone out there who does I will give you the quick rundown of whats been going on lately. I am still in internship (somehow apparently miraculously, as I've been yelled at, and my internship has been threatened to be cancelled twice). This is so hard for me. I have continued to keep on keeping on, take the feedback when I get it, learn from my experiences and I try (it's hard for me sometimes, feeling low moralle after all that, and being told right now i'd be an "ok" teacher and that's not enough - yet my evaluations are at performing at target and above target). At this point I am ready to just say you know what if it's not good enough for you I dont know what more to do. I really don't want to do that though. Especially after all this hard work and college. I feel like I don't have control of this situation. I realize I need to pray to my Heavenly Father, seek personal revelation, and read scriptures more to be successful and make it through this. I know it's because of him i have made it this far, and am still making it.
There hasn't been much aside from internship to be honest. Between that taking up my time, lesson plans taking up my time, and the stress of it taking up my time I havent had much time for much else.
I haven't gotten to see my love, Kevin since Decemeber 31th, 2009. We will be reuinited again when he flies here to Florida on April 28th, 2010 to help me pack, attend my (hopefully) graduation, and move across the country. We are planning to be back to Vegas by that following Monday. Then I will be seeking a job or two to work until i hopefully get signed a teaching position for the new school year.
My wedding is going to be on July 20th, at 11:00. We are going to be sealed in the Salt Lake City Temple. My favorite temple. It is absolutely beautiful and pure love to me. Watching the Mountain of the Lord and learning of the history of the temple, all the saints went through for so long, and all the trials to build that temple just amazes me. 40 years. 40 years to build that temple, and the saints never ever gave up. It's so inspirational and just makes that temple so much more meaningful, beautiful and amazing to me. I wish everyone in the world could watch that movie, and learn of the history of the Salt Lake City Temple (building/dedication/what it represents). I can't see how anyone would not be moved. I feel so privledged and estatic I will be sealed there to Kevin. I will admit I am nervous. Nervous because I obviously never been to a sealing or been sealed. Nervous because I hear it will be overwhelming and perhaps confusing. Nervous, because of my family and I hope they can understand (i could be a better member by talking more about it with them though ive explained the idea) and still feel included and happy on my wedding day.
I will be doing my endowments at the Mount Timpenogas temple on July 17th, 2010 at 7 pm.
Anyone reading this is invited to attend both. I most likely cherish your friendship if youre on my blog reader list. Not to say i dont cherish others who don't have blog access. haha.
I feel like I am missing out on the fun of wedding planning because of all the other stress going on, and the fact I dont really have close girl friends. I dont have a maid of honor or bridesmaid. That's kind of my own fault for not being more outgoing I suppose. I however do have a great ward and wonderful women in the ward who are so supportive and sweet! I love my ward family. I love the women and friends I have planning my bridal shower. I am excited for it!
Well I think that might be about it for now. I must return to homework and skyping with my fiance.
I hope all is well with everyone.

voodoo heart

2010-01-10T15:10:00.000-08:00

it begins

2010-01-04T18:42:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of orientation for my internship. I still havent been told where it will be, what grade, or any of the details. I am already feeling intimidated, overwhelmed, and exhausted. Internship hasn't even begun.
I've been struggling again, probably one of the hardest times I've faced. I always make it out somehow.
I want to finish and move away and start my new life.

Heres to a new year - new opportunities and experiences.

blessed

2009-08-30T16:43:00.000-07:00

I wish to be more spiritual. I need to stop slacking in that area, I want to feel closer to my Heavenly Father, grow spiritually, and feel the spirit more often.
Today was a great sunday, alot of people came to church, I brought at investigator and it made me remember my first days/year(s) there. I can't believe where I am at now.
I desire the same for everyone else because I've seen the difference this gospel has made in my life. I LOVE the people. Seriously I have the best friends, ward, and bishop. I am so blessed. So so blessed. I don't know how anyone wouldn't want this for themselves. Obviously everyone has agency, I think almost anyone would if they knew. I don't see how anyone could diss this, it's just too good to not be true.
I am so very grateful for a loving savior who died on the cross and bled at every pore, just for us. The pain he endured for me, wow. How could I ever hurt him knowing that? However, I know I and no one else will be perfect so I love the atonement. I am so glad for my second chance.

I've been struggling financially worse than I have in a very very long time. It is tough but I have faith I will make it through. I've prayed and some prayers were answered. My internship (sadly) wont be until January, so I intend on hopefully working two jobs for the next couple of months. I hate the fact I ever let myself get to this point but ive gotta make it out.

I am sure everyone (does anyone even read this?) has noticed, or heard my time with me vegas visitor went very well. I had a blast, I was smiling so much the whole time. I was too excited to sleep most nights. I awoke and saw the sunrise (amazing for me) that was one of my favorite things. We painted eachother pictures, snuck into places, spent a day at the springs together, visited some families and church members that he knew from his mission, spent a lazy sunday together, went to church together (he put his arm around me, which means he likes me), ate at joes crab shack (his first time eating crab in the shell! it was cute delicious treasures), adventure landing mini golf (ugh dont ask who won), lazer tag, daytona beach (suprised an old missionary friend of his), saint augustine, lots and lots of driving, movie watching, and much more. His first night here we went to the beach in daytona and I love that memory. It's when he told me I am beautiful, first held my hand, and first kissed me. I know this is cheesy and the wrong blog.
(we made a blog, if you want to follow it: www.lessthanthree000miles.blogspot.com )
He is such a good example to me, and really does bring out the good side of me. I feel like a princess when I talk to him and I can't get enough.

.Jennifer.

to spin

2009-08-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

Dreams Of:

bodies and blankets entwined.
fingers interlocked.
laying in the grass watching the sky in slow motion.
silent wishes on counted stars.
finding hidden treasures with a hidden treasure.
soul staring.
telling stories, heart, fears, saying it all through eye gazes.
big smiles & painful laughter.
loss of breath.
really feeling things never felt before.
being so completely blinded with emotion, to be terrified to death.
comforting promises through soothing voices.
warm arms with a perfect safe hold.
a perfect fit.
to feel a pulse.
heartbeats.
nervousness.
being too excited to sleep.
the addiction & hunger.
to feel blessed.

always wish on 11:11.
dream.

love it!!

2009-07-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

hahaha I love it!

Updates:
I am so sad the Fergusons are moving soon. I probably don't tell them much but I seriously love them and they are one of my most favorite families ever. They keep me going towards what I know I want in my future family, one like theirs and have been so supportive to me for so long. I can remember sitting behind them & meeting them my very first time at church. Their new ward will be so lucky to have them!

I am STILL waiting to hear if my internship will be this fall, or in the spring (bummer).

I have been reading scriptures/BOM a chapter a day (well I did fall behind and now im playing catch up) with two great people right now. My goal is to read it all the way through, taking notes on every chapter and ideally having greater spiritual knowledge.

I am going to have an out of state visitor in a week in a half, from Vegas. I am pretty excited. We haven't met before, (don't worry a lot of people I know, know him! so he checks out). We have spent a lot of time talking over the past month and getting to know each other. I am pretty excited, and scared at the same time.
More later.

life decisions

2009-07-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

I finished my last college courses this summer. Why do I not feel more excited about that? I should feel successful, and proud of myself. I am, but not that overwhelming excitement I should. I am still waiting, on the edge of my seat for news if they were able to bump my internship up 6 months for me, which would mean I start this August, and graduate in December. My plans after that are to move away from Florida, and find a teaching job. I am sure I will miss Florida one day, and my family but I've been here long enough. I am also not a major fan of Jacksonville. I am likely moving to SLC. (Yeah, I know. How original.) I love the area. It's honestly beautiful. The scenery is breath taking, and the city is very cool. What about the winters!? you ask? I love snow. I love winter. I am excited about the opportunity to snowboard all the time, and become amazing. If living there doesnt work out I can always leave, at least I tried it. This is my plan for now, and I am praying for the guidance if it's his will. You never know what could change within a couple of months.

I want to note I've been to thee temples now, salt lake, st george, and the orlando temple. All three are amazing.

This summer has flown by for me, since my trips to SLC & St. George (for elder mills wedding) in May, and classes I haven't done too much. Work has been very slow, and suprisingly it's driving me nuts because I don't have money to do everything I could with all this time off. I wanted to get certified to dive this summer, and enroll in martial arts again. I am not sure sure if that's going to happen. I have however been attempting (again) to learn how to play the guitar. It takes alot of patience out of me. (well if I had any). I just want to travel all the time. I feel so stuck in ruts, constantly desiring adventure, and something to move it. I constantly desire a purpose.

I've been spending alot of time alone. I don't mind it too much, I think I need it sometimes. I've also been spending more time with my family. I've made some great friendships. It's interesting to see the different stages I find myself going through. I am fine with being single right now, I have no desire to date anyone I have no interest in. However, it's like I've felt this part of me missing my whole life, as if i am longing and searching for a missing puzzle piece. I know that sounds really cheesy, lame, and crazy but perhaps that's a part of being a hopeless romantic. I constantly ponder where future my soulmate is out there, how they are feeling and doing right now, and when I will find them. When I meet him will it all make sense? will i suddenly feel that completeness I've imagined?

I think i need to get out of the house now!

xo. Jenni.

my oh my how time flies

2009-05-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how quickly time flies by. Before I know it all my younger years will be a thing of the past. Noting that, I really am trying to make it a goal of mine to actually accomplish amazing things everyday. Spontaneous, fun things. Gain new talents and hobbies as well as taking care of responsiblities. I am tired of putting off dreams for when I can, for tomorrow. I will say my life can get kind of crazy though, but not crazy enough for me! Who knows when my last day will be? Why not really do something that matters. Something that at the the end of the night, you can go to bed with a huge smile on your face, exhausted.

I think this may require me waking up much earlier, another dream. It might require me to find a way to put an end to this insomnia. I am such a night owl.

I am quite content sitting online with a full belly, kicked back, typing away and listening to my dog knawing on a bone all night.

Glorious news, I got my temple recommend on saturday around 12:30 pm!! I am so beyond excited and nervous. It is only a limited use one, so no i am not endowed/being sealed, but still. the best thing is, a dream is going to come true. the first time I will enter will be the salt lake temple (in a couple of days actually). It has been my favorite temple for some time and before I even knew much about the church I wanted to visit it and go inside.
Tomorrow I am getting my first pedicure of my life. I am also getting a manicure and spending time with some friends at the beach. Then, (hopefully if my ticket gets switched!) i will be off to Utah at 5 in the morning. I can't wait to see salt lake again and spend time with my friend that moved there amanda, and the guy who gave me my baptism interview erikson, and jeremiah before he goes off to Africa. I am so grateful I will get to be there for Dean and Mallory's wedding day. The most important day of their lives. I am so excited and blessed to have all these people as friends. They are great examples to me, and wonderful support systems. I don't deserve them.
Oh, and hopefully I will find some cUTies on my vacation!
Prince charming soulmate has to come out one day.

thankful

2009-03-29T17:43:00.000-07:00

I regret that I have let journaling and blogging slip. I regret I've failed to recognize and be grateful for many blessings. I am so grateful that two humble young men came into my life when they did and never gave up on me, and for remaining patient with me. I am grateful for the other humble young men who since have been great examples, and have helped me to keep on, and grow. I am grateful for the wonderful serving young women who taught me first. They are all some of my best friends, truely. I am so grateful for my church family that have always been there for me. I am grateful for the example all these wonderful people have been to me and I am proud of myself, for what I've become & come to know. I often reflect on the month of october and how happy I was then. I am still happy but I see where I could be doing more, I dont want to slip. I want to strive to do everything right that I can. I can't let doubts, fears, or sometimes the unseen to myself even negativities affect me.
because I love the church and I love all of you so much.

It's probably just the energy drinks

2009-03-23T00:53:00.001-07:00

Where did it go wrong?
Has it gone wrong?
Who am I?
Where am I headed?
Where am I now?

WWJD

2009-03-11T10:37:00.000-07:00

Each night over 300 million children go to bed hungry.

Every 7 seconds a child dies from hunger-related causes
146 million (27%) of children under 5 years old in developing countries are underweight.

Over 4.4 children die from malnutrition each year.

Worldwide 161 million preschool children suffer chronic malnutrition.

These are just some of the facts, some are shocking, most we may already know about or have heard. If we've heard this before, why would we sit by and do nothing to help? I am completely broke, but I still know I am going to eat something today. I still know I can cut back maybe spending 13.00 somewhere else and donate it to feed a child for a whole month. 150.00 can feed a child for a whole year, think how often we spend 150.00 at the mall, maybe on a weekend trip, dinner, or for groceries and often we think it's a pretty good deal.
So I ask each of you to donate something, whatever you can because it will help. There is really no reason for this, its so heartbreaking. It's not something that we can or should forget. Especially when I think about what I have, take for granted, or selfishly think isn't enough. I think about the bible, and what the savior and others did. I think about how many stories in there include the poor, the needy, the weak. I know we all have compassion. This is just one (big) way we can help

http://www. compassion. com/global-food-crisis/?referer=98494&utm_campaign=gfcradio-air1-98494

Where have I been?

2009-03-05T09:31:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness, I am updating! It's been forever. (well about 3 or 4 months). Alot has been going on in the life of Jennifer. I am not too positive what or where to begin, so instead of including everything chrononically I will spare you all boredom and another super long post and just give you a gist. I still have the dog. Yes the hyper hound dog (or maybe known to you through the grapevine as the psychotic giant sandlot dog). I got a new place, it's close to school and it's my first very own apartment. That's right, the first time in my life I am living absolutely alone! yippie! I am pretty stoked about it. I like my alone time and my privacy, so this is perfect for me. Of course Hunter is with me so I am not totally alone. He will be a good guard dog.
My second semester of graduate school is pretty intense i often find myself an hour or two before class saying,"what homework assignment!?!" It's amazing because I am also working A LOT less, and I used to have just as many classes with a full time job. This semester is a bit more demanding however. I also have been juggling alot personally, and trying to please alot of people while meeting all my responsibilities. It's getting very difficult to juggle everything. I am only one person. I really know I am imperfect. I do. I suppose I thought those around me would still be loving, supportive and try and be supportive but that doesn't always work. I hate drama. I hate that I am 24 and still having to deal with it. I hate that I've been the pushover or bitten my tongue most of my life. I am finally starting to stand up for myself. I hate being disappointed in people. I didn't intend for this to be a negative post however. I am simply hopeful and looking forward to the future. I am trying to remind myself of the blessings I do have and that everything that is happening now is leading me somewhere, and is for a reason.

new me

2008-11-10T13:09:00.000-08:00

I've realized I haven't updated in some time. I think it was intentional because I doubted that I could bring all of my readers something profound. I do wish I were a great writer. However, I will do my best to keep this entertaining for you lurkers out there.
Well, I was baptized on October 19th, 2008. The service started at 2:30 but went very long, so I am not sure the exact time I was reborn. My guess is around 3ish. I had three speakers who all did wonderful & won over the battle of tears (I tried to fight it). Credit to Sheri, Patti, and Bryce for that. Jennilynn sang, Bruce baptized me, Elder Mills did opening prayer, and one of my professors David Snow did closing prayer. (I know I was not the only one with my eyes open, watching it in sign language). The baptism was great and I love everything it represents, my covenants I've taken on, my leap of faith and most of all the death and rebirth of myself.
The photograph to the right was taken of me the same night I was baptized. No special settings or photoshop. It is clearly evident I am glowing magnificently.

I have been worried a bit about myself, it seems almost harder (in some ways) after you are baptized. I am not just talking about tithing either, I'm actually handling that better than I thought I would. I just need to make sure I still read my scriptures, and pray. There was a testimony builder last wed. with the missionaries and my friends, unf had tables set up on campus where different religious groups could give out information to students if they were interested. It sadly didn't amaze me too much how some people use opportunities like this to start fights. One guy was getting so worked up at our table (mind you he came over to us) he was FOAMING at the mouth.
I kid you not.
Other than that, we met alot of very cool students and other respectful christians.

I have been procrastinating more than usual with my school assignments lately, but starting today I am picking it back up! (check in with me in a week). Only a little over a month left for the semester. One step closer to my masters degree!!
I am pretty certain I am going to Utah this winter. (I know WHO in their right mind goes to utah of all places for vacation!?). I am actually excited. I am getting an awesome buddy pass hookup. I plan on snowboarding, skiing and visiting temple square thus far. I will be there a week probably. Not sure where I will be spending christmas yet.
There has been alot of stress going on in Hunter's (my hound dog for those who don't know) life right now. He's had to stay with me, because I am not giving him up to the pound. I feel bad, as I am busy often but I spend every waking moment I can with him. We've been spending a lot of time taking walks, playing, (and I sometimes get to read, journal and reflect) at fort caroline right near my house. Just a girl and her pup enjoying the great outdoors.

Florida is still so boring to me.
I know "If you're bored, you're boring" as my mom would tell me. I just don't know what to do with my free time. I always seek adventures and to be entertained.
Theres only so many times you can go to the beach, st augustine, bowling, etc.

I could update you with boring stuff, like how I got speeding ticket, I have to spend money (& time!) on tires and a rim, which is no fun. That's what guys are for. hahaha. I know, I know I have to learn to deal with these things or fix them myself so I am a jenni of all trades, and don't get taken advantage of. I've had a couple more interpreting jobs. I'll save the dramatic details of being basically on call for them. For inquiring minds, I am do Sign Language interpreting for the deaf sometimes on the side. Usually medical gigs.

Oh and you better be grateful I included photographs for you, even if some are slightly embarassing because they are unflattering. If you wish to see ones from the actual baptism, ask & I'll show you.

My hair is out of control. I am thinking of cutting it and possibly getting some low lights soon. Any suggestions?

Oh yeah, cover your eyes. There's a topless joey at the springs in one of my pictures. Especially you married women out there.

My pillow from the Alexanders. I colored it all by myself!

love, jennifer

So father give me faith providence & grace, Between the river & ravens I'm fed. Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head & lead me in your way

2008-10-15T11:02:00.000-07:00

I thought it was an appropriate time to write on here. There are a lot of changes coming up, and that have happened as of lately in my life. So much to look forward to, so much excitement and happiness for my new life, but also sadness still in my heart. I fear that my school will be effected by my mind always wandering off, and those sadnesses that are there. Just as my mind runs, and loneliness takes over at night and I can't sleep until 3:00 in the morning.
I still find comfort, ease, and happiness in my friends and especially the elders. They are always there for me when I need them and I know that they are supposed to be but It still doesn't change how it makes me feel. I've had friends tell me they don't have to be there for me as much as they are, and they've seen these elders really grow to become my great friends and attached to me. I said goodbye to elder smith last night when I brought him a goodbye goodie bag. I didn't cry, but I did a whole lot at his farewell/my housewarming party. It has caused me a little bit of stress and sadness but I know he has to go on with his life. I am so grateful for him and for elder mills and elder bewley, and that i have them here for me during these times, and for my baptism. Those back home for these boys, their friends, their family are so very lucky to have them and should be so very proud. I feel like they're my best friends sometimes. My life is school, work, baking, church, and talking to them as of lately. That's why a lot of my updates are spiritually related. Hopefully that doesn't bother anybody.

I was sleeping peacefully this morning and heard multiple serious doorbell rings (yes you can have serious doorbell rings). Opening my little sleep sealed peepers I remembered my 10:30 appointment with them! It went great, and made me feel good. My goal is to start making that feeling last with my throughout the day.

With the baptism approaching, times have been trying. I am not sure that if it is any more than before, in some ways it is. The advesary is trying. From feeling alone, to people talking very badly about my decision to those close to me. To the dissapointment when they don't stand up for me. I had terrible nightmares last night.
However I am not budging with my decision and I have noticed a couple of blessings/revelations as well the past few days. Some examples, as silly or as crazy as they may sound to you are as follows: I of course had a hard time falling asleep the night after my housewarming party. I felt so lonely. I was hurting. Hurting because of love. Hurting because of a great part of my support system leaving. I finally fell asleep and woke up a little after 9 am for no real reason. I felt better from sleep but was quickly reminded of what I was so sad about, and also that tomorrow was the last day elder smith would be here & I probably wouldnt talk to/see him. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep and my phone rang, he was on the line. Yesterday morning, similiar to the night before...I got up, and decided to put my clothes away to get some stuff done to feel better and clear my mind about my troubles. I sighed and asked outloud to heavenly father to please help me to be strong throughout this day and please have the elders call me. They didn't call. However I looked at my phone, and had a missed call from my friend Jeff Gray. I figured it was just to chat about nothing in particular so I texted him asking what was up. He called me and invited me to attend an institute class at the law school in an hour with him. A day he'd normally be working but wasn't. A class neither of us had attended, but he heard about and thought to call and ask me to come that moment.

General Conference had so many great talks. I have been keeping my journal to keep notes. One of my most favorite quotes I've used before was used. "Pile up enough tomorrows..and you'll find you've collected nothing but alot of empty yesterdays".
I could reflect and discuss this for an entire entry but I will leave it at I need to stop worrying about tomorrow and start finding and appreciating the true joys of the present day.

I am SO excited for this Sunday you guys! Ahhhhh. Don't forget to be there or I might have to turn into ninja jenn and whoop you.
Especially you, Patti. You have to talk, but more importantly you are making me pumpkin bread.

That's really all I have. This was already much longer than intended.
Thanks to everyone who came to my housewarming/farewell party. Hopefully we get living room furniture soon, and I'll get my carpet.
.Jennifer.

the day has come

2008-10-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

I am in between classes. (majorly dreading the 7:30-10:30 class to come) and decided to update my readers. (wait I have readers?). A couple of you heard the news from me, but through long, hard consideration, much investigation, studying, discussing, and reflecting I have decided to become baptized. This is totally for me, not for anyone else, though I will mention that many have been very supportive throughout this, loving, resourceful, and most of all patient. I am excited because those around me are so very excited for me and supportive. I also know that this won't be easy, as others might not understand this choice, or necesarrily agree with it. If any of you who are reading this fall under either of those categories know that this is what makes me happy. I took an unusual amount of time and route to get to this point. Either way, I am still Jennifer, just that much better. If you don't agree with my decision, at least respect it and try to understand it.
It is exciting, taking a leap of faith. Faith, a word which I used to often scoff at, laugh at, it never fit with me in the same sentence. Well after long reflection, I've recognized my heart. I've recognized knowledge and testimony I've perhaps, possibly gained. I know I am still always going to be a factual person, I may always have some worries or concerns but I won't let them control my life or drag me down. I will simply research as much as I can, but also start to incorporate faith in Jesus Christ, prayer, and working on becoming christlike, a christian. Me...a christian? wow.
I swear those missionaries must have about had a heartattack when I told them my decision as they said their goodbyes, and offered to help me move stuff into my new house. (By the way I live in a house now! with two awesome girls! come see it...potential housewarming this sunday). They rushed home to tell the mission president. I am saddened elder smith won't be able to attend as he goes home a few days before, after he's waited for this. I will take plenty of pictures however. I have asked Bryce's dad, Bruce sudweeks to baptize me and I am working out who I want to speak. I made an invite/reminder to sneakily deliver to my friends to announce the news. Hearing and seeing their excitement has been hilarious, in a good way but also a joy.
This is my flyer, very accurately portraying my investigation the past year and a half, and my relationship with these young men.

It will likely be at 2:30 pm, it is on a Sunday. Everyone is invited, member of the church or not. I am very nervous but very excited to take my leap of faith into the warm water, and arise again free of sin and as a brand new person with a clean slate and a better heart.

.Jennifer.

till we meet again...

2008-09-18T09:45:00.000-07:00

I want to dedicate this entry to someone who is important to me. A great friend of mine (and of many others as well) Jared Birdwell Alexander left to go on a mission this past Tuesday. Needless to say, I know I sure miss him. (yes already!) He is my first friend I've ever had to leave to go on a mission, so yes I am a noobie. I know, I know, it's not like he's gone forever.

I am certain our other friends miss him as well, as the other night during a hangout it was as if something was missing. Perhaps because someone was missing. I however, don't want to be so selfish in missing my friend whom I wish I got to know longer and spend more time with before he got to leave, but remember what he is doing and the experience he will gain.

I personally, would make a terrible missionary. I can't see how many of them do it, but I know it is because they live "forget yourself and go to work". It is because they truly care enough about what they believe in to help others. I know Jared will be an excellent missionary, because not only does he have a strong testimony, is willing to sacrifice two years for the lord, but also because he is a great person with a wonderful personality. I know he will reach out to people, and take the time to know them and meet their needs. He can be, and is an inspiration to us all. As I reflect on all the fun memories our group of friends made I also reflect on ways I have changed and just how much of an inspiration they are to me. They don't fear. They love who they are, what they believe in, and are proud of it. It does not mean it is an easy task all of the time but they "chose the right". I know I've had struggles of my own, but these friends of mine have made them not so hard to overcome. I know they have faith in me, have most of the same desires I do, and struggle as well. Just as I consider each of them a wonderful example, and have faith in them and love for them. That is true friendship. I reflect on all the shallow meaningless friendships and relationships I've had throughout my life. What I have now helped me to see what friendship truly is.
Any investigator, companion, or friend will be so very lucky to have Jared in their life. I hope he keeps pesky difficult people like me in mind when he is teaching. I know he will.
Until I meet my friend again in two years, I will remain strong and remember Ether 12:6.

Enjoy the pictures and our silly videos. The best one would not embed so you can watch here but please ignore my annoying witch cackling. This is what our friends often do at 3 am.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow9hNvnRob4

this is after we had the employees sing for his "birthday".

runs through the banner we made for him at the airport.

changes

2008-09-15T09:02:00.000-07:00

I am sad. For many different reasons.

I think I will be ok though.

cause I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

2008-09-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

So, I don't have any particular reason to update my blog today other than I simply felt like it. By the way I changed my settings, everyone can comment who reads this now. You don't have to have a blog.
Nothing too terribly exciting has gone on lately. Bryce and I did however go to Orlando on monday, which was a blast. We got to actually use our annual wet & wild pass again. We were pretty much done with it after a few hours, then went to IKEA. (I will admit I was likely ready to leave wet & wild because I was so eager to go to ikea). I've never actually been in one of their stores. It was amazing! There was so much stuff there it definitely is much better to browse in the store (that convienently traps you in there so you go through everything) than online. It made me want a house of my own so very bad. I can't wait until I do. Add it to the lists of can't waits; until I get married, until I am a mommy, until I transform into a wonderful amazing teacher, until I travel the world, etc etc.
Something to anticipate.
Yes, a lot of their stuff is cheap in price, and some cheap in appearance but I love the style, compactness (if that makes sense), and modern look of it. Not to forget the good prices. I suppose that's why everyone loves Ikea.
I thought itd be nice to meet up with one of bryces good friends (/ex gf) who recently moved here with her new husband from idaho. So I texted her, bryce & I went to the mall where I could throw makeup on (from the makeup samples in the department stores haha. The lady didn't mind me "playing") I may have also covered up chlorine smell with some perfume.
I know.
We met up at whole foods and then went to olive garden and ate soup/salad/breadsticks because all of us are poor & cheap.

Graduate school is too early to comment on. I will say I am not thrilled about being in a research class until 10 at night on tuesdays right after a 3 hr class. I am nervous and just hoping I truely grow into a graduate student. There is a difference. You are not so much a student being taught anymore but a teacher yourself. A critical thinker.
We are stuck in our apartment until the end of this month. (We didn't give them enough notice) hopefully this will be good for us in the sense more will open up for cheaper when its time to move out.
I have my second interpreting job ever tomorrow! Oh and bryce gets his wisdom teeth taken out.
We've been pup sitting an adorable white snauzer for the past few days. I want to keep him.
On an entirely different note, I miss 90's alternative music and style. I've been listening to music such as the cranberries, smashing pumpkins (what's with the fruit!? as my brother would say) bush and radiohead just to name a few lately just because.
Sometimes, I feel a sense of nostalgia when I was an ugly duckling who's entire world revolved around music and mtv. I swore it was my future (dream) job. I think the nostalgia I often am swept with isn't just for music, but many things and many complex emotions.
Its amazing how a sound, a scent, an image can bring a rush of events to the human mind.

I was told I'm such a puzzle yesterday.
Isn't the first time I've heard that.

change of plans

2008-08-22T08:18:00.000-07:00

I hate this. When you have all these wonderful feelings, and ideas running through your head and then they are lost so quickly. It should carry around a bound journal to jot my thoughts down before they warp, leaving me with uncertainty of what it really was. Or before they seep away, forever.
I will tell you what I did not want ladies and gentleman. I did not want this blog to simply be like every other journal where I record everything I did since my last entry. I want it to be more than that, however I also don't know how deep I will allow myself to be here, vulnerable to all of my readers. I think I will combine a healthy mixture of both. I don't have many feelings towards this hurricane/tropical storm (Fay). I hope nobody's life was ruined because of it. It doesn't make me angry, I love the rain and I honestly have been dreaming for sometime for the opportunity to be trapped inside with a dramatic storm expressing its emotions outside my confinements. I know I need the money, but I am relaxed and so very happy to have time off until next week so in that sense this storm is a blessing for me. An opportunity to prepare myself mentally for school on Monday. Hopefully an opportunity to get to know myself and those around me better as well.

I actually have had a wonderful opportunity to get to know some of my newer friends better the past few days. I have learned about them, but what I love and find most beautiful is I've gotten to see inside their souls. (that sounded creepy) I've gotten to see a different side to some. Most of it has been spiritually, but that is a journey I've been confused about and seeking for some time. Last night was an example. I was at my friend's house, the Alexanders with some other friends as well, (bryce, sunny, ellie, amanda, jennilynn, elder smith & mills - for those who don't know them, one is my boyfriend and the others are friends from church). We were all sitting around bored talking about what we should do together. Shortly after the power went out. We were actually joking about this all day, as earlier someone thought it was out, while lighting candles one of us flicked the light on to show in indeed had not gone out. This time it had. We lit candles and naturally were all drawn together in the living room, being silly until Mrs. Alexander threw the idea out why don't they bear their testimonies to me. Her and Mr. Alexander also came too when I asked, I think because I find myself relating to Mr. Alexander a lot. (Also investigated in his college years, went through many discussions, took his time, didn't do his readings, and needed that logic there. As Mrs. Alexander said, he & I are like kindred spirits/souls). I jumped on it, as it was an opportunity to switch it and make them feel awkward for once, but it turned out to be more than that. I really appreciated my friends feeling comfortable enough to do that for me, and share that side with me. I can't explain to you the emotion, the love, the depth of all of them. There were several I wanted to save the words forever, but now they've slipped from me but not the impression it left on me. It was pointed out that if the power didn't go out we wouldn't have even been in that moment, so perhaps it was for a reason, a sign, a blessing. Then it got really far and was suggested perhaps Hurricane Fay was for a reason, or else the past few days, and the opportunities wouldn't have ever happened. (That's better than my finger being slammed in the car door the night before as we pulled up to prank the missionaries as a "sign", ha)
Wow. A hurricane? That'd be selfish. I don't know if I could wrap my mind around that. I was asked, "Why not? You don't think the Spirit loves you that much?"
As I type this I begin to be filled with emotion and tears form. I don't care how embarrassing this will be for me later, it's my blog. I might be beginning to accept the idea that he even loves me, and the idea that I am that important....I can't even express words for that. I've always hungered to feel loved and cared about, and felt short of enough of it. Shoot, I didn't even love myself most of my life. Trying to find false happiness and comfort.

I just got home this morning, it was too wild to drive last night so I stayed there. Staying in an away missionaries room is kind of weird, but it was so comfortable and cool to see a "real" bedroom again. The pranking, baking, cooking, grocery shopping, gaming, arcading, vaccuming, movie watching, teasing, just everything has been amazing the past 4 days. I hope I never forget it or everyone that's been a part of it.
It felt like childhood.
It felt like happiness.

.Jennifer.

ps. if you click the pictures, you will see them in their original ridiculous size

it begins

2008-08-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

Another website. Another blog/journal. I knew it'd be a matter of time before I caved in. I always wanted a blog. I am not sure what the purpose of this will be yet. I know there is an art of being a blogger, that needs to be mastered. I likely will not master it. I am sure this will often be filled with my rambles, as I am doing already right now.
I could tell you a bit about myself, assuming there may be some readers who don't know me. I will give my speal [spelling?] I am 24 years old (I still put 23 impulsively). This is supposed to mean I am an adult now. I am starting graduate school in a couple of weeks. I am a Deaf Education major. Please don't respond, "How sweet", "Wow you must have a lot of patience", "Oh..that's nice". I love Deaf culture and I love children. I apparently am also insane enough to become a teacher. I am learning and realizing how it just very well may be the most important job in the world. [in my opinion]. I grew up a military brat, so I moved a lot. I plan on leaving Jacksonville after I graduate and start my career, to where? I honestly don't know.
I shall end this now. If you have any questions to learn more about me, feel free to ask. Or, don't be afraid to just say hi!

.Jenni.